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2 May, 2012

Today’s entry for the May fiction challenge.

If you go really high on the swings, like so high up that your tummy jumps when you come back down, you can see the roofs over the top of the trees. You can see the church and the shopping centre and the garage where they sell you fags if you’re in senior school, as long as you’re not wearing your uniform. But I can’t be bovvered today, we had PE this afternoon and my legs are well aching. So I just swing to normal height, not trying too hard. My skirt flaps a bit round my knees, but I’ve tucked it under my legs so noone can see anything. There’s noone here anyway, they’ve all gone in for tea. Mum will probbly be wondering where I am, stressing I reckon, I’ve already heard my text go off like a million times. But I haven’t even looked who it was, I’m ignoring it. She knows I go to the park after school, if she was that bovvered she could come and find me.

Anyway I don’t wanna go in yet, I can’t face her. She’ll see the bruises and the mud on my shoes and on my jumper and she’ll wanna know. She’ll aks me “Roxanna, why are you always fuckin fightin?” she’ll say, “You’re always gettin in trouble, and then the school writes me them letters and I gets in fuckin trouble.” Well I never started it, it was that cow Tasha, she was going on about how she reckoned my bag was shit, my shoes was shit, my hair was shit. It don’t bother me, she can say what she likes, I know my Mum can’t afford all the good stuff, or take me up the salonn like Tasha’s Mum does. And in maths she come and sat next to me, and was poking me and kicking me but I couldn’t say nothink cause Mr Carson always believes her. I reckon he got game for her. She walks round like she’s some Wag or somethink. Just cause she was the first one who got a bra. She don’t even need it really, I’ve seen when we get changed for PE and she’s hardly got nothink there. Then she started whispering to me about how I would never grow tits, that it meant I was gay, that even girls wouldn’t want me cause I’m poor and skank. But I don’t care, she says it to everyone and I know not everyone is gay, so it’s rubbish right?

After school she was walking past the bus stop the same time as me, and she was treading on the back of my shoes, and trying to nick my bag. And then she started talking about my Dad, saying how he’s a druggie and he’s in prison and they’re never gonna let him out, and if they do the dealer will get him because he owes them shitloads of money. So that’s when I smacked her. She was aksing for it, noone has a go at my Dad. We was like rolling on the ground and fighting, all the kids was watching and laughing, then this woman comes along and breaks it up. Lucky really, I reckon Tasha would have had me, but I ain’t gonna let her know that.

I know that’s rubbish what Tasha said about my Dad, cause my Mum told me he works away a lot. I don’t know where though. He writes to me on my birthday and sometimes we go to meet him in a McDonalds. When I was little, if a plane went by, Mum used to say it was him, flying over us, if we waved he would see. And when the plane left those white skylines behind it, that meant he had seen us and he was saying hello. I don’t believe that now, I’m not a kid no more, I’m going up to the seniors in September. I reckon it’s time she treated me like a grown up. It’s about time she told me where he is.

One Comment
  1. Kinda like an update of Dear Frankie! 🙂

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