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I seem to have some confidence

23 June, 2012

Over lunch today, i was telling a friend about my new neighbours. A couple of weeks ago, i said, two women and a man were carrying boxes and furniture into the empty flat downstairs from me. Being a 2-bedroom flat, I imagined more than one person was moving in, but I had no idea which of them and in what combination. I noted though that the car belonging to the cute fair-haired girl is always there so clearly she is living there, but who else? Maybe I would bake a cake, i mused, take it to her/him/them to say hello.

My window overlooks the door to the flat,  and when I got back from lunch, the cute girl was sitting outside having a tea and a smoke, so I decided to stop by and say hello. I know, this is me I’m talking about, actively deciding to go and have a conversation with a stranger, and a cute one at that. No time to bake a cake to hide behind, just get out there and say hello.

We didn’t get beyond a quick 10-minute chat of introduction, but I know she runs her own business,  is divorced and the 2nd bedroom is for her 6-year-old son. I’m not writing this to say that I have met the love of my life or anything like that, but i am quite proud of myself for going up and talking to her. It’s a very rare event for me.


In other news, the woman i was rejected by blogged to say how great it is to be in love, especially with someone who really “gets” her, and although they both have baggage he helps her along with it. So pretty much word for word how we were then (apart from the love bit), but in my case that wasn’t what she wanted. I’m not angry or bitter about it though, and this is why i bring it up.  A few weeks ago this would have brought on a terrible dark phase, but today I was able to shrug it off, to remind myself how I had been able to talk to my neighbour, and an emotional crisis was avoided. Again, i put this down to Confidence. But like i say i’ve never had any before, so i’m only guessing.

  1. TheOthers1 permalink

    Woot! I’m glad you approached her. I’m terrible at approaching strangers no matter what their gender. Strangers make me nervous.

    • Woot indeed! I have the same fear of people as you do, i am terribly, terribly shy and untrusting. But today i wasn’t.
      Now to work up the courage to ask her out…

    • I need to give you both some lessons. ; )

      • TheOthers1 permalink

        I can fake my way through greetings, but approaching others isn’t a strong suit of mine. People typically approach me.

      • there are always dozens of bottles of wine here, waiting to be drunk. you should both drop by and you can give us those lessons 😉

        if someone talks to me, i can smile and blag my way through a few lines of conversation before i start to think “right, what are you after? do i have to talk to you any more?” but i am hopeless at being the one who starts a conversation. EG if i go to a party, i find a corner (usually in the kitchen), grab a bowl of crisps and talk to whoever talks to me when they go by. i’m not a circulator, and i’m not an approacher.

      • You’re plying me wine? Smart move! I think you’d be a fast learner.

      • and i havent even mentioned that i’ll be baking a choc fudge cake 🙂

      • Now you’re just being a wicked tease. I thought the British had proper manners that prevented that. ; )

      • Yes but you’re also forgetting how much we like tea and cake. i’ll use the best cups and saucers 🙂

      • The very thin, fragile ones with the delicate handles???

      • Of course! Is there any other kind? I’ll have my butler polish the best cutlery too

      • At this point I’d expect nothing less. : )

      • Of course the best cuisine that england has to offer isn’t served on the finest plates with silver cutlery – it’s chip shop chips eaten out of the paper while sitting on a park bench. Heavenly.

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