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One Big Chance

10 July, 2012

Had a horrendous morning. The boss has been off for a week meaning I get to do two jobs when I don’t have time to do one. Problems coming in from all sides, the phone constantly ringing to announce another crisis that I have resolve or avert. I headed for the canteen, just a miniscule amount of peace before the next lump of shit hit my or my boss’s fan. I stood by the patio door, watched the rain outside, breathed, relaxed. A shadowy reflection approached from behind. “You alright?” said GAW. I turned to her. “Yeah, fine,” I said, relieved to see a friendly face, “just tired and having a shit day.”

She stepped closer, towards me, into my personal space, into my arms and held me. She. Held. Me. For an everlasting second, I was in her arms, in her thoughts. “Don’t worry,” she said, “the day will get better.” She backed away from our embrace, hands lingering on my arms, and kissed me once, quickly, chastely on my cheek.

“The day has already got better,” I didn’t say.

I didn’t say, “Thank you for worrying, it means a lot” either

Or “Do you know how long I have waited for you to do that?”

Or “I have wanted to do that to you for so long.”

Or “Bollocks to work, let’s just go to the pub.”

Or “Bollocks to this life, let’s run away together.”

I stood there, silent and alone as she turned and left the canteen, throwing a smile over her shoulder. I stuck my hands in my pockets to disguise the effects of our stolen moment, and sighed as my One Big Chance walked away.

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7 Comments
  1. TheOthers1 permalink

    Aww. Well, don’t just look at it as a missed chance. Look at it as having gained a little something. Her response to you is interesting.

    • Thanks for your good wishes. I would look on it that way if this had actually happened 😦 It’s only true up to the bit about looking out at the rain…

      • TheOthers1 permalink

        Aw, that’s disappointing.

      • that’s life!
        I suspect from your comment that her response was “interesting” that you didn’t really believe this was true anyway, or at least out of character

      • TheOthers1 permalink

        I was hoping it was. I said interesting instead of great because I’m just cautious. I never want to say something is a good sign and that you should pursue it if there’s a chance I’m misunderstanding the sign. I was hoping it was real, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions. In other words, I’m too cautious for my own good, which consequently could be why I’m still single. Hm…

      • “I’m too cautious for my own good, which consequently could be why I’m still single”
        me and you both. not that my cautiosity means i’m missing anything with GAW because the feelings are all one way, but generally, yeah i’m too cautious.

  2. Love all the things you should have said but didn’t—particularly as they neared the bottom of the list.

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