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Job Interview

11 July, 2012

A little idea that came to me at work this morning. One lunch break later, here it is:

 

I’d like to enquire about the vacancy you have advertised please. The position of Managing Director.

Can you talk me through some of your skills and achievements?

I have been in my current employment for some fifteen years now and it has given me a wide range of experience. I have ultimate responsibility for the entire organisation. I drive its external relations with other organisations, I control its overall strategy for growth and development, I also assume the role of Financial Director and in this capacity I oversee financial performance, set budgets, generate KPI reports monthly and annually, and present these in layman’s terms to the other senior partner. I am the team leader, but I am also a modest team member and I am happy to learn from the experiences and knowledge of other staff. I am very hands-on, I am the ultimate arbitrator in any cases of discipline or internal relations, and I take full charge of staff motivation, recruitment and development. I even arrange transport  for staff events and the onsite catering.

This is most interesting. What professional qualifications do you have?

None.

Is there a notice period?

Not really. I was planning to retain my current responsibilities but move them to outside working hours.

That seems unorthodox, but if your current employers are happy with that… Who is your current company?

It’s a family concern.

Ah, I see. And what is your current job title?

Mum.

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From → Fiction, Writing

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