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21 July, 2012

It is ironic that this week i received a Reader Appreciation Award and was tagged for Lucky Seven, but i feel empty and uninspired. Some say that awards are just chain letters, and maybe that’s true, but at least it shows that someone is reading and enjoying and that has to be good.  Reading and enjoying what though?

I have felt uninspired for a few days, a couple of weeks maybe, and although i have posted a couple of times,  i essentially have nothing to say. I started this blog as an overflow to the whirlpool that my mind sometimes becomes, and there is still alot of whirling going on, but no online end result. It’s like watching the balls spinning round in the lottery machines but no numbers are coming out. Not that a whole nation is waiting for my numbers, but i am and there’s nothing.

Generally, my online presence is much reduced. I am not prolific on facebook, but usually post a few posts, chat a few chats. But lately, nothing. I tweet sometimes, but more recently i have barely logged on, and when i have, i skim through the feed not really taking anything in.  And writing nothing. Often this lack of output and interest, this disconnection is a symptom of my mood levels being very low, and my enthusiasm for life diminishing. It is usually accompanied by hiding under the duvet and mentally saying Fuck You to the world. But not this time. I’m not down, if anything i’m a bit more up, but essentially i’m just bumbling along. Even my desire for GAW has reduced of late (although i did enjoy the way that new pair of grey trousers made her arse look this week).

It’s not a complete literary desert though, my WIP is still IP, even if the W i am doing to it at the moment involves editing and rewriting which, although hard, is not the same creative process. Oh and of course there are emails. I have been sending a lot of emails lately. And reading a lot of emails. And checking my inbox a lot. And maybe this is the issue. All of the thoughts and stresses that normally have nowhere to channel end up in blogs, but maybe there has been a dam built along the course of my inspiration and its flow has been redirected to email for now.

Or maybe I just dont have anything online to say at the moment, and i should stop overanalysing. I checked my stats just now, and the regularity of my posts doesn’t seem to have changed. More likely i am in that strange time percpetion where so much has been going on in my head these last couple of weeks that it feels longer, and hence the spaces between posts appear wider. I don’t know.

So in summary,  i have nothing to say. Talk amongst yourselves.


From → Blogging, My Head, Writing

  1. You said it – well done. Keep going 🙂

  2. I think there’s a lot of that feeling going around lately.

  3. I’m not sure why but I always find it easier to write when it’s all going a bit “pete”. I think drama lends itself to creativity in some ways. Happiness and contentment don’t seem to stilmulate my muse as much as fear, terror and depression. At least not till recently…

    Plus, it’s okay to have a day when you don’t write. That’s okay y’know? For all the advice – just write, I say take a day off and live! Just don’t let it turn into a rout and give yourself some credit, being a Genius is hard work and you deserve some time off occasionally.

    • I tell myself its okay to have a day / few days when its ok not to write – sometimes you need to stop and regroup, and you cant create every day. but then the fear of “what if i can never write again?” comes in. i know its over-reacting and being paranoid, but us writers are sensitive types right?
      Thanks for the pep talk though, it is appreciated. speaking of genius, i will be reading The Scottish Play today, that won’t make me feel inadequate, will it? 😉

      • I absolutely adore Shakespeare. I have read and seen every single one of the plays.

        Yeah, just breathe deep, nice, slow and easy.

      • i am currently working my way through the complete works, reading one every sunday. Which are your favourites? R&J, Henry V and Richard III shone out for me, and i enjoyed all the Henrys with the battles for the crown. i did The Scottish Play at school so i know i love it already.

  4. Hey there, Reclining Gentleman.

    Well, first off, I was reeled into your blog by the cleverness of your name. Quite unique and comical. However, when I read this post, I was INSTANTLY inspired. Why? I feel the same exact way sometimes when it comes to my hobbies & interests.

    I am known to pick up something, play with it for a few minutes, and drop it when I see something shinier. I do this a lot with my daily activities and it probably has a lot to do with my ADD. However, what you’re referring to is more so what I would call a “rut”.

    We go through these ruts all the time in our life. It happens in our relationships, our friendships, our work ethic, our daily habits/routines, and so many other things that revolve around us. Although, it’s not because of the lack of “inspiration” or the lack of “interest”, it is because over time, our minds simply get exhausted from the things we make a habit of doing. It needs some R&R, It needs time to breathe and spread out after all those thoughts get piled up in one spot. Ruts don’t take too long to get out of, but it may need a few to several days before our minds are full of energy again and able to start those activities in an orderly manner.

    I wouldn’t be worried about this much, you might need to take a little time and let your mind breathe a little bit. It needs rest just like you and I do after a long day 😉

    Thank you for inspiring me!

    • Thanks for dropping by and thanks for sharing. I know, this is just a short-term thing and i will be back with a post that i am happy with soon enough. my life and my thoughts can’t be interesting ALL the time, and i’d rather post less but meaningfully than turn my blog into some twitter-esque “i just ate some toast LOL!!” bore-a-thon.
      Thanks for your kind comments, and i’m glad that you enjoyed your visit my little corner of the cyberworld

  5. Are you over this yet or is it still with you? Sounds like depression. Or blog-overstretch. (I just made that up, I think, but it seems to fit it.) I’ve been blogging in various places for about nine years and I know this – we all go through patches of it (and it gets particularly bad when your blog becomes popular and you feel pressured to write and you just haven’t anything you want to write about).

    If you’re just writing for yourself, then take a few days or even weeks break, forget you’ve even got a blog and go and do something entirely different. If the need to write comes back, then you’ll just gravitate back to your blog and write. It’s much the best way to do things.

    I had another blog which I deleted in January of this year. My current blog is new but I decided this time round that I’d plan it all out and I’m mostly doing it for my readers. I’ve pre-written a lot of posts and am scheduling them a few days ahead, that way I can (theoretically, at least) have breaks in between. At the moment though I’m caught up with all sorts of online gunk that I need to get done so I find myself on my blog and reading other people’s much more than I’d intended! 🙂

    To get readers, you need to visit other blogs and comment on them. As many as you can cope with, really. Then people will follow you back to your blog.

    • it comes and goes, but i seem to be outpouring again at the moment. i am learning that there will be times when i dont want/need to blog and that its fine not to.
      i appreciate your insight into blogging, ive not been doing it that long. and this may sound ungrateful but im really not bothered whether it gets read or not, its for me. I have met some interesting people and had some enlightening chats (such as this one) and yes, i check my stats like everyone else but i dont write for approval, i write for therapy and catharsis.

      • That’s good. That was my reason for writing my previous blog. I have different needs now.

  6. You couldn’t possibly be a “real” writer if you didn’t struggle with bouts of depression and listlessness. It is “written.” One of those rules, like royalty on mugs.

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