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I gave GAW pleasure

28 November, 2012

I had an email yesterday confirming what I suspected – I haven’t got the wonderful job I applied for six weeks ago. They have chosen their candidates for interview, and I am genuinely surprised I didn’t make it on the list. But life goes on, and so does my employment with a company that takes me for granted.

I told GAW the news at lunchtime, and although she does have sympathy for my lack of success, she is openly delighted that I am not leaving. This is quite flattering I suppose, and this coupled with L’s reply to my post about GAW yesterday is making me question my intentions towards her again. I thought my head had moved on, but L is right – I have given up on her not got over her. And I am wondering again what her feelings are. It has been heart-attack-enducingly busy these last few days and I haven’t had time to get away and make a brew with her. She pointed this out this morning, and said how she missed the tea run. That, combined with her happiness at not now losing her tea buddy has had the annoying effect of raising my interest again.

I say annoying because it frustrates me that I hate feeling for someone who is unobtainable, but I can’t help it. That smile when we chat at the coffee machine, those startling blue eyes, the cute way she tucks her hair behind her ear when we talk, well they stir parts of me that like to be stirred.

You should know me well enough now to know I’m not going to make a move, so don’t tell me that’s what I should do. And don’t bother telling me how heart breaking it is that she and I haven’t got together, you just get my hopes up. But I thought you might like an update on my employment prospects and my unrequited lust.


  1. Wait — is GAW the married one, or the other one…?

  2. Sorry. Mea culpa! :/

  3. Not married = fair game. Are you better for her than her boyfriend? Do you want to be better? (I mean, really, if her boyfriend likes it enough, he should put a ring on it…. And he hasn’t done that yet.)

  4. Those are always the hardest to get!

  5. Keep searching onthe job front and you never know if you succeed in finding one that may be the catalyst GAW needs to open her eyes to what she is letting walk away

  6. I know I’m a hopeless romantic, but don’t let the prospect of being with her die away. Don’t put all of your hopes in her either. Better to keep her in the back of your mind and heart my dear. Then if the chance ever comes to be with her, your heart will still be in it. I’m a firm believer in fate and destiny. But I also believe we make our own magic too. Don’t give up and blah, blah, blah said the crazy romantic from the States. Giggle.

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