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What Is It About Weekends?

2 December, 2012

When I leave work on Friday evening, I never know what mood I will be in for the next two days. Sometimes I am excited at the idea of being off work, have loads of plans and the time whizzes by in a blur of enjoyment. And sometimes I sink into a dark place where I can’t bear to speak to or see anyone and I can’t wait to get back to work where, although I don’t enjoy it, I am familiar with the routine and there is a safety there that I don’t always feel at home.

Take yesterday for example, I went shopping and finished the bulk of my present buying. In theory I should have been pretty content with that, and when I was paying for my purchases I was chatting apparently happily with the cashiers. I even flirted a bit with the really cute girl who works in sainsburys. But once I got home, whether because of the cold weather, or the disappointment in myself that I should be getting some writing done instead of lying on the sofa watching Buffy, or maybe the fact that I knew I would probably not talk to anyone else until Monday at work, the darkness came down. I had a nervousness, a fear of… well, something, I don’t really know what. I had bought a hoodie, I was wearing it during the afternoon, and I felt a need to have the hood up. Not because of the low temperature but more because of my low self esteem. Even though I was alone indoors, I was hiding beneath it.

I don’t really understand why or what from, and that feeling has mostly receded now. But I know that when I post about being depressed or low or whatever it is that I get, it is usually a weekend.


From → Blogging, My Head

  1. TheOthers1 permalink

    Would going out more help? Just a thought. I tend to be a little solitary by nature and can only do people in measured doses, but I understand the need to be around others.

    • maybe. but “out” is where people are and i don’t really do people either. Yes i know i said about not talking to anyone till Monday. I don’t get it either.

  2. if it makes you feel better I spent the afternoon yesterday on the sofa laptop on my knee reading emails, watching buffy on tv and eating chocolate until it was time for strictly

  3. I’ve done that too, with the hoodie. It’s comforting, it’s like being in your own little cocoon.

  4. We have this in common. I had my hoodie on yesterday….and even went to bed early. And I have a family at home to talk too…so……????

    • it’s my own fault really, if i wanted to see people i could. but most of the time i don’t want to.
      i maybe should have gone to bed early, very tired today

  5. bipolarmuse permalink

    That is an interesting observation. I sometimes get more “moody” as the weekend approaches too. Maybe it is because we overwhelm ourselves with obligations?? Perhaps we put too much on our plate… or maybe it is because the everyday routine is being thrown off. I am going to start paying attention to this myself. Thank you for sharing… ♥

  6. Oh dear, for me it’s usually exactly the other way round. At the moment my boss does everything he can to spoil my work 😦 And that’s the reason I’m feeling a bit depressed right now. I’m going to post a new blog on that subject soon.
    And I have another theory: Isn’t it possible that ‘witing people’ sometimes need the company of others and then feel at their ease while sometimes they need to be on their own and can’t stand other people having around? We do need this solitude for our writing. When I’m down or when I’m over the moon I’m at my best in terms of writing 🙂 What about you?

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