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A text I didn’t want

23 December, 2012

I got a text today from the woman who was the reason I had to start blogging. She had remembered that December was the month my financial worries would ease, and wanted to wish me a happy Christmas. I had managed to put to the back of my mind how I had miscalculated the end date and the horrible bleakness it caused me. So thanks for reminding me of that.

I have not thought about her for a while (I have other subjects to emotionally torture myself over now) and getting her text only brought back all the feelings of rejection that she caused me. And it brought back all the wonderful things she said about me which she then negated by deciding that they weren’t enough.

I have had no contact with her for a good 6 months or so, deliberately and by my own design, and I don’t want any contact with her. That’s why I unfriended her on FB, unfollowed on twitter and deleted her number from my phone. I considered not replying to her, and hoping that would be that, but it WAS sweet of her to remember, so I replied and wished her a merry Christmas too. I am now desperately hoping that a conversation doesn’t start, or worse still that she suggests we meet up.

Maybe I am being ungrateful and unfriendly but I just don’t want her in my life anymore.

 

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12 Comments
  1. I would suggest you stop crying in your beet and get over it. Instead, reflect on the growth you have had since parting. Yes, it was painful to hear from her again, and be reminded of your financial disaster… hey, only 5 mos. to go now… but it was nice of her. So, don’t let bitterness fuel resentment… rise above and embrace the happiness you deserve (especially in 5 months… Oops, I mentioned it again!) You don’t have to have her in your life, so don’t. Just tell her you’ve moved on and are not interested in further contact.

    So, get out your tea cosy, and brew a cuppa, and eat one of the 70 varieties of cheese you stuffed into one of your friend’s holiday baskets (I’m sure they won’t miss it), and have a Happy Holiday Season. Merry Christmas, my friend.

    • youre right, i need to move on and i had till i heard from her – it knocked me off course a bit. i texted back politely, she answered politely, i deleted the texts. there were no tears, just a bit of a jolt. im not going to outrightly tell her to leave me alone, i’ll just continue not to contact and move on with my life.

  2. I feel you are just being true to yourself.There is nothing wrong in that.

  3. TheOthers1 permalink

    Interesting that she would text you. A friendly gesture, but I would’ve been hesitant to reply as well. Don’t let her or your financial situation bring you down, BT. 🙂

    • Im sure she had only good intentions but i dont want any contact – its too painful. i will put my head back in the sand and ignore both issues for a bit longer.

  4. Morbid Insanity permalink

    I do not think you are being ungrateful and unfriendly. I think you’re right!

  5. This breaks my heart and have been known to go through these same feelings. May you never feel this kind of heartache again!

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