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My back is like my head

4 March, 2013

I am in my fourth week of having a painful (although now easing) back, and a friend asked me what I had done to it. Oh it goes occasionally, I told him, sometimes there is a moment when I know I have pulled or jarred it and sometimes it will just start to hurt for no reason. And after a few days or a couple of weeks it goes away again. There is no magic moment of relief, just a sense that the pain has disappeared.

And this is how my head behaves. It occured to me as I laid on my bed yesterday unable to get up, leave the flat, read or even eat due to a particularly bleak episode. Sometimes an event or conversation triggers a dark cloud, sometimes I wake up already under it. Or I might be going about my day when my head decides I am coping too well, and in an instant, as though I am responding to a hypnotist’s clicked fingers, I go under. A few hours, days or weeks pass when I find life difficult to deal with until the moment I realise it has gone. And I am clear to live my life normally until the next time.



From → Blogging, My Head

  1. I understand the bleak moment thing. Mine descends like a black cloud and it’ll hover all day or longer. Like a migraine that won’t go away.

    • When the dark cloud hovers over me I feel like it belongs there and I can’t move forward to where I need to be. Then the sun comes out and the wind blows for the new day has begun and I am free to live my life once more. It helps to think the new day actually begins after midnight!

      • that’s a good way to think. i dont usually see the sun come up, i just seem to wake up at some point and notice it is daylight again

      • Not sure how many sunny days you get where you are, but I wake up early just to see the sunrise with a cup of coffee in my hand. Its the most peaceful time and I do my best writing at that time, not sure why. We still have snow and the trees are bare and the sun light glistens as if its on water and even though its cold outside in my mind the sun makes me feel warm. Have a great week Gentleman.

      • not always sunny over here in England – if it was sunny every day what would we talk about? – but at the moment we have that pre-spring sunny weathert that gives warm bright days but cold clear nights. Sounds idyllic where you are. I wish i had time to relax and write, for me its a mad rush after work to get something done before i fall asleep 🙂

    • I dont get migraines but i hear they linger

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