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Five Sentence Fiction – Paradise

16 March, 2013

Thanks as always to Lillie for running the wonderful 5SF, and for this week’s prompt “Paradise”. Here is my offering, all comments and criticisms welcome.


Stressful day here too, she texted in reply, I wish the three of us could escape to a desert island.

Arriving home from work, she found a note inside the door, directing her to the bedroom where a bikini and sarong in bright summer colours and patterns were laid out on the bed with a second note which read “Put these on and come to the kitchen.”

Shells painted by a nine-year-old hand and miniature plastic palm trees had been placed around the kitchen, and he was standing next to the eye-level grill wearing a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts, barbecue tongs in hand.

“The fishmonger assures me dinner was caught just this morning,” he grinned as she accepted the Lei and freshly poured coconut milk from their flower-haired, grass-skirted daughter.

“It’s not quite a desert island,” she sighed contentedly, “but I’m with my two favourite people, that’s as close to paradise as I need.”


  1. Oh this was so sweet. Loved it. 🙂

  2. I liked this, very romantic. I live with a man like that and count myself, a very lucky (and smug) married lady. Just a tiny point, I’d have dropped the “in reply” in the first sentence. The “too” makes it redundant. But that’s a personal opinion and I’m often very wrong.

  3. Romantic and sweet. Sometimes all we need is a little bit of paradise when we come home….

  4. Gentleman, you may want to put husband/partner back on your “bucket list”, not the “other list.” Actually, I am just teasing you, couldn’t resist. The story is very sweet and romantic, loved it.

  5. I think this is one of the best pieces you have written.

  6. This was beautiful. I loved it. Great job!

  7. Morbid Insanity permalink

    Simple and beautiful! I liked it! ^_^

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