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A Leaden Day

20 May, 2013

I woke up in one of those “how will I manage to get out of bed” days. I made it to work, but really didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to speak to anyone, struggled to get motivated to do anything or to care. Even seeing GAW didn’t cheer me up, neither did spending the first time for weeks with new GAW when our lunches coincided, or the massive sparkly-eyed smile she gave me when we passed in the office.

 

My chest is made of lead

As I wake, its weight presses down on me

Keeping me there

Unable to move

My lungs are made of lead

Breathing is an effort, a task

A reflex action

Which needs my concentration

My feet are made of lead

I struggle to walk

There is no motivation to move

From one place to the next

My brain is made of lead

Thoughts are heavy

Slow to form

Hard to process

My stomach is made of lead

It does not complain if I overfill it

With harmful, unhealthy contents

That I don’t need

Or want

But still consume

My heart is made of lead

Its heavy walls prevent emotional radiation

From entering or leaving

Ensuring isolation

I cannot lead

Or be led

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From → My Head, Poetry, Writing

17 Comments
  1. “My heart is made of lead

    Its heavy walls prevent emotional radiation

    From entering or leaving

    Ensuring isolation

    I cannot lead

    Or be led”

    hauntingly beautiful! I know I use that phrase a lot but sometimes it’s all I can say- you write in such a way that I feel each word, I am right there (ha, I started to say ‘write there’), well either way, I feel what you say deeply….
    but there is one thing I find it hard to believe, the part where you say “I cannot lead”, somehow I don’t agree with that one 😉

    • Thanks Joanne. Maybe i’m just having more of a low day than i have done lately, but the leaden thing seemed to sum up my day.
      Ive picked up a few blog followers so in that way i guess i sort of lead (haha) but i don’t go out of my way to. I’m not one of life’s leaders or followers, I’m more of a keep-out-of-everyones-way-er

  2. Morbid Insanity permalink

    I understand it and feel it, mainly because I could see a bit of me in what you wrote.

  3. I know those feelings in that poem, sir. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

  4. Gag me with a spoon… it’s a good thing I have a constitution made of lead. You need a backhand made of lead to snap this morose. Now get that spine made of lead out of storage and go to work!

  5. Just wrote it on a plane from Dallas to Seattle. I was in Cancun and got a notice on Deliah’s story… Then saw Hasty & Cara’s. I’ll post when I get home. I hope you are having a day full of sunshine, Boss.

    • much better day thanks, although the Oklahoma news is a terrible worry.
      looking forward to your chapter. Hmmmm intercontinental flights… maybe thats what i need to get my muse flowing again!

  6. We seemed to need sunshine at the same time. Love you…even full of lead

  7. oh and the poem…amazing

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