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Friday Fictioneers – Salt

19 September, 2014

Hands up who missed me last week when I was on holiday! Didn’t think so. Anyway, I’m back now, pondering Rochelle‘s prompt pic:

c2a9tales_from_the_motherland

and thinking of 100 words. I’m not sure exactly where she is or what she is doing, but this is what the fiction-generating part of my brain thought:

 

 

“She walks here daily from her village carrying the same tool her grandmother used,” Raul said, “and digs for salt she sells at the market.”

“How far does she walk?” Alan asked.

Raul conversed with the aging woman and translated “Fourteen miles.”

The mirrored window of the air-conditioned car slid open and Hugo beckoned Alan over. “We should get some shots of her arriving back at the village, that would look great. How far did he say it is?”

“Fourteen miles.”

Hugo drank deeply from his water, adjusted his dark glasses. “Jump in,” he said, “we’ll meet her back there.”
 

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30 Comments
  1. Not a gentleman then!

  2. Youth today, oblivious to their eventual fate. Nice tale.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. Dear TRG,

    Hugo seems to be an uncaring opportunist looking for a story and nothing more. Nicely done.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. mscwhite permalink

    Hugo is incredibly selfish and uncaring! You painted a convincing portrait of disrespect!

  5. Doubt Hugo would even realize what grabbed the rest of us in the story.

  6. Very humorous. I can just imagine the finger posing lens shots.

  7. Heh. I couldn’t help but laugh at that. They can’t even offer the poor woman a ride!

  8. what a dry tale. Randy

  9. Great first paragraph! She is such a powerful force that it hardly matters that the other characters are jerks.
    Ellespeth

    • Thanks for reading Ellespeth. I was so focused on how ignorant Hugo is that he became the centre of the story when really the woman is the real star here. And she doesn’t even get a name…

  10. Interesting – my main focus was on the lady, too. She seems utterly determined. May Hugo get a flat tire.

  11. I wonder if Hugo had offered her a lift, would she take it? Great writing. 🙂

  12. RG, Welcome back! Good story. Hugo seems to be a luxury-loving opportunist. I kind of wonder what would happen if his luxury car broke down and he had to hoof it right along with the woman and spend time in her village waiting for the car to be fixed. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

    • I don’t think Hugo would hoof it anywhere – he would be on the phone to his PA to arrange a taxi back to the hotel for him, and leave his driver to sort out the car repairs!

  13. Couldn’t risk getting the nice upholstery all salty, probably. Otherwise I’m sure he would have offered her a lift. Good story – the dialogue works well.
    Marg

  14. It looks like she is walking on a bunch of S’mores

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