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Friday Fictioneers – Fraternité

17 July, 2015

You know the FriFicin’ score by now – every week Rochelle sends everyone a prompt pic:

dijon

and all of these writers are inspired to create 100 words of fiction. I went off on something of a tangent this week, and to tell the truth 100 words wasn’t enough to fully tell the tale that I found between the mental cushions of my cerebral sofa. But that’s the point of FriFic – to tell a story in 100 words, and if your story needs more, tough. Work out how to tell it anyway. Here is the result of my condensing and revising:

 

Jacques and René were born only fifteen minutes apart, but they were otherwise not close. Their fraternal rivalry began over toys but as they grew it extended to exam grades, sport and romance.  Jacques resented his younger twin’s constant superiority.

After high school, René studied the art of chocolatier, and Jacques followed. After both gaining commended diplomas, they opened shops in the same street; René in the cloisters opposite Jacques.

Jacques attributed René’s greater success to his twin’s perpetual luck, but Rene knew differently. The cloisters kept his chocolates shaded, the afternoon sun spoiled his brother’s.

René prospered.

Jacques failed.

 

 

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32 Comments
  1. A very clever piece, RG, and beautifully encapsulates the photo.

  2. I’m in the throes of research just now, but had to take a moment to air out my brain a little here in the wise yet ephemeral realm. Who knew that cloistered from the din in my head I’d find this sweet morsel. Thank you.

  3. Maybe his failure makes Jaques finally do something for himself, on his own, far away from his brother. Good story.

  4. Just goes to show the sunny side is not always what it seems.

  5. Awww … sibling rivalry. Well, crafted !!!

  6. Nice story but sad ending.

  7. Great use of the picture – I like how you’ve undercut the usual meaning of ‘the sunny side of the street’. I hope Jacques finds his own way soon.

  8. Silly siblings. Heaven forbid they actually join forces for once!

  9. Ha! Sometimes sibling rivalry helps – sometimes it definitely hinders. Well told.

  10. Oh, very clever! And you’re right. I sense a bigger story at work here. I think that is the biggest challenge – condensing our longer stories that inevitably come from these prompts into workable 100 words that leave us satisfied but still wanting more…does that make sense? Well done!

  11. so sad they can’t be friends.well written!

  12. Ah, a story to melt your heart, and truffles.

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