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C – Thursday Thrictioneers – Remembrance

12 November, 2015

I wasn’t sure I was going to do FriFic this week. Rochelle‘s weekly prompt pic was sent on the 11th of the 11th, Armistice Day, and as my 100 words are often throwaway pieces without much backbone, I wasn’t convinced I would be able to write something respectful enough. But on the way to work today I had the germ of an idea in response to this pic

jhc5

from J Hardy Carroll and by the time my lunch break was over, I had my 100 words written – virtually unedited from the first draft.

Click here to visit the Blue Frog and read other FriFic entries from around the world, and then please come back and read my effort. In keeping with the C in the title, I encourage, cajole, badger, nag you to leave constructive criticism. I can take it, I want to hear what didn’t work for you.

Oh, and you may have noticed I am posting on Thursday this week – I am away for the weekend and although I will have the means in my bag to surf the net and post, I’m not sure I will have the time. So I’m pre-posting, as it were.

Anyway, all that blather aside, here are my words, all 100 of them…

 

 

After the service, I waited at the rear of the church, allowing my emotions time to settle. I watched my two girls in their white dresses, sitting quietly among the gravestones; talking, whispering, sharing, as sisters will, twins even more so. The low November sun caught John’s beret badge as he proudly watched over his daughters.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and knew it was Pamela’s. She was missing John too. On a day for Remembrance and Gratitude, she was remembering her son as I was my husband.

I closed my eyes and gave thanks for my girls.

 

 

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23 Comments
  1. This was very nicely done. Sad and yet hopeful. Surrounded by family.

  2. Very respectful and beautifully written – I’m glad you had a change of heart.

  3. A moving piece. So right for the date.

  4. Expertly done, and it’s what I do with a prompt. Copy it, make it my desktop background and contemplate while working on other things. The mind takes it and works it into a story. You wrote a wonderful tribute for Veteran’s Day!

    • That’s a good idea. I save the document to my desktop so I can open it a few times during the working day and ponder but I’d never thought of making it the background.

  5. Very touching. Reminds me of how permanent some peoples’ sacrifices are…

  6. Beautifully written. C– I was a bit confused, on first read, about the sentence with the beret badge, I only understood in the end that John was dead. Second read was clear, then.

    • Thanks GAH (is that what I should call you by the way? GAH? Gah? Herr Learner?)
      I always intended the twist so that it read differently on second reading, but perhaps the two meanings weren’t distinct enough.

      • Frau Learner. 😀 G. or Gah or whatever you like. I’m debating myself if I should at least put my first name on the blog or not… I didn’t expect to meet so many people.

      • Oops sorry Frau L! You don’t have to put your real name or first name or whatever on your blog if you don’t want to. I’ve been blogging as TRG for 3 1/2 years and guess what – that’s not my real name!

      • I wouldn’t have guessed. 😉

  7. This was a lovely tribute for Armistice Day, RG. Well written. — Suzanne

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