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C – Friday Fictioneers – Service

18 December, 2015

Friday is here once more, the second to last one of 2015. And as I suspect there may not be a FriFic next week I wish you all, every single one of the worldwide FriFicFamily, a happy festive season (particularly whichever of the various flavours of festive you prefer). And of course I reserve the biggest wish for Rochelle who, like a weekly Prompt Santa, visits the inboxes of all the boys and girls around the world in a single night and delivers a pic for them to play with. Here is this week’s gift:

kitchen-window

If you want to unwrap… sorry I’m going to stop stretching the christmas metaphor now.
If you want to read everyone else’s 100 words of flash fiction, click here to visit the magical land of the Blue Frog. And then, if you want, read mine below. The C of the title means I hang with the cool kids in the Concrit Subgroup so please leave criticism for me. Be cruel, be vicious, be ruthless, but mostly be honest. Tell me what doesn’t work for you. Agreed? Thanks. Right then, aqui estan las palabras…

 

 

“Where’s them damn beers?” he yells. It’s not a question, it’s an order. I take five bottles through and hand them round, careful not to block their view of the game.

“Those burgers ready yet?” he demands, eyes on the screen.

“Nearly,” I whisper and return to the kitchen.

The window looks out across the bay. Ferries cross twice daily for the mainland; I imagine boarding one, leaving everything behind. But I know he would follow me, find me, bring me back. He has told me what would happen.

I fix the burgers, fix my smile, serve them their food.

 

 

 

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16 Comments
  1. I won’t click “like” because it was not a “likeable” story. Well written, yes. Upsetting and unsettling , definitely.

    You did and excellent showing us her feelings without telling us. Bravo.

    Randy

  2. Run away! Nicely written.

  3. No Crits
    You created tension and despair with no wasted words. It’s great.
    Tracey

  4. C The tension through dialogue worked very well. This is a place where too many are, I didn’t really get who the rest of the people were.. His buddies? But maybe it doesn’t matter.. I think only the two are in this game.

    • Thanks for your comments Björn. The others were written as his friends he had invited round to watch the game but whoever the guests are, he would have acted the same I think

  5. A lack of repsect and empathy is what keeps our “civilized” nations uncivilized.

  6. If she toughens up a little she can put something nasty into her burger meat and disguise it with brown sauce. And eat a bit of it herself so she gets a bit sick but doesn’t die like the filthy five – the cops will never know.

    And happy xmas to you too.

  7. Some people are like that. It seems she’s not a battered wife, just a scared one. It’s a form of abuse that many don’t think of as such because it’s mental with no bruises. Well described, RG. — Suzanne

    • Thanks for commenting Suzanne. Yes, this form of mental bullying can be as distressing and painful as more physical forms. It’s easier to hide from others and indeed from oneself.

  8. Yikes. She’s in a bad place. I like the detail of the nearby ferries – representing escape for her, which is just out of reach. Powerful story, and one which I believe is true for lots of women.

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