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Friday Fictioneers – Security

20 May, 2016

Oh hello there! I didn’t expect to see you today. What do you mean it’s Friday already? Surely not! (checks calendar) Well gosh darn it to flippery, that week has whizzed past faster than a rocket in a burning firework shop.

Well, since you’re here, have a nice sit down and I’ll pop the kettle on. While it’s boiling, you have a quick look at the prompt pic Rochelle sent this week

jhc7

J Hardy Carroll took that. Oh by the way have you been to Froggy Island yet to read everyone else’s Frific? Make sure you do.

Right, tea’s made, there you go, enjoy. Have a biscuit too, I’ve got bourbons in this week. Do you fancy a read of my 100 words since you’re here? Here they are then. They’re not my best, I’m not sure I’ve explained everything I wanted to and there is too much telling not showing, but I’ve given it a go. Make sure you leave me a comment afterwards to tell me what you think. Cheers then.

 

 

The airport has been cleared for The President’s journey; only those he trusts absolutely are allowed inside. I am on first name terms with the presidential guards, but still one keeps a finger on his trigger as he watches his partner examine my case. Satisfied, he nods and I enter. The sound of my footsteps ricochets through the empty space as I search under seats, behind curtains.

It would take only one device for those who oppose Him to destroy him. I find nothing. Breathing slowly, I take a seat at the exit, my case beside me.

And I wait.

 

 

 

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13 Comments
  1. You keep me waiting for what will happen… please don’t do that… i want to know what the wait is for.

  2. I keep thinking some kind of bomb is going to go off and it is still there. Good writing, though, just not a satisfying ending.

    • Sorry, i know the ending wasnt good enough really but i ran out of editing time. Yes, there is a bomb there, and it will go off. The narrator knows where it is…

      • I figured you might be on to something. You can do what I have done and that is to edit the story and update it. It’s perfectly fine to do. You have a good start.

      • Thanks, if time allows I might revisit this and rework it

  3. That case has an ominous importance. I wonder what he waits for and am not sure I really want to know. I think it’s a good story, by no means too much telling.

    • Not enough telling it seems! You’re right, the case is central to what happens next. The trusted aide isnt as trustworthy as the president thought he was…

      • I tink you show quite well what’s important. It’s more fun to guess than to know in such a short piece.

      • I know what you mean, I like the reader to have to so some work. But if i don’t give the right clues then there is too much work and the ending is left *too*open which i don’t like doing.

  4. What a lovely way to enjoy my tea.

  5. I’m wondering now if the guard who “examined” the case was in on the bombing. It’s especially scary after things that have been happening to planes lately. You wouldn’t know who to trust. —- Suzanne

    • Hmmm, good point. i didn’t see the guard as being in on it, more that the narrator had managed to disguise it. But now you mention it, I like that theory better!
      Thanks for reading Suzanne and for an intriguing comment

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Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

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