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Datelexia 2

2 August, 2016

Previously on Datelexia, I was shocked and confused by the messages between me and an ex-colleague. That was Saturday night, and it’s amazing how fast-moving the world can be. Here is the next instalment which, as with all posts that feature me baring my emotions, serves mainly as an exercise in mental filing and thought sifting.

There were a few messages on Sunday, all full of light to medium flirting. And as the evening drew on and we both took our phones to bed and chatted more, we both admitted how attracted we are to each other. And the fact that I am away for work this week and how disappointed we both are that we can’t meet up, how much we will miss each other now that we have finally got chatting.

All well and good, and all very flirty but not necessarily meaning anything will happen when we meet, or that she wants it to.

I spent yesterday travelling on the train – I am 240 miles from home – and although she was at work, we chatted a fair bit and she kept me company. And for another evening, we chatted constantly. And as the evening drew on and we took our phones to bed, promises of hugs and kisses were made.

We were both aware that I am older than her 29 years, but I wasn’t sure if she knew how much. I asked her, she didn’t. She guessed my age at 10 years less than it is. I told her the truth, assuming she would back off and gave her the option to do so. She didn’t.

We chatted more, we shared more, we are both very keen on meeting at the soonest possible chance when I get back, we both want to exchange the hugs and the kisses that had been promised. And although a gentleman should never reveal the more private nature of a conversation with a lady, there was a keenness from both sides for more besides.

So where are we now? There is a mutual and very strong attraction which we both seemingly want to act on, but there is still the elephant in the room – she has a boyfriend. As SOL pointed out on Saturday, this doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to leave him, and it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to stay with him. There have been too many times before when I have heard the word boyfriend and told myself there was no chance – and it has been true many times that I was right. And I remembered too that the first girl I loved was seeing someone else when we met (and went back to him when we finished) but I didn’t let that put me off. So on this occasion, thanks to the advice of SOL I decided I wouldn’t write us off  but keep going. Time and tongues will tell.

I have been dropping him into the conversation very sporadically just to see her reaction, and there hasn’t really been one. Part of me wants to scream “is this going anywhere? are we going anywhere?” but the more sensible side of me, a side which in previous times would have been silent or silenced, is waiting until we at least meet. After all, time runs incredibly quickly in these very early stages and it is only 5 days since we first chatted outside work. It’s clearly way too soon to start laying down groundrules and pathways, which is what such questions would be. Let’s just enjoy the flirting and see what happens.


I should also point out that I will not necessarily be giving regular updates on developments or otherwise. If I need to get my head straight, try to understand what is going on, or need your counsel, there will be a post. If I don’t, there won’t.


  1. And don’t forget to find out how tall he is and if he does karate!

  2. There are a few things I need to find out, these are pretty high on the list!

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