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Friday Fictioneers – Falling

24 February, 2017

Can it be true? Can it be Friday again already? A quick check of the calendar confirms that yes it can. And by Jiminy Flip it is. Well in that case I’d better get my FriFic post posted in that case.

You know the routine by now. Rochelle, our hardworking Beloved Leader, emails an email containing a prompt pic to everyone’s email address. Here’s this week’s:

january-snowfall-nighttime

which regular FriFicist Sarah Potter took. And then – get this – not only do we write 100 words each and post them, but we share them over in Frogtopia. Go and have a look if you don’t believe me. I know! What are we like!?

My 100 words are just a little further down the page. Give em a read, and then leave a comment if you like.

 

 

If he was here, I wouldn’t be watching the snowfall alone; we would sit together, wrapped in a duvet cocoon, him telling me how beautiful the world looked in its fresh blanket.

We would lay down in the garden to make snow angels, then dash back to the warm indoors and help each other out of our wet clothes. Tomorrow off work would mean snuggling in bed with hot chocolate and soup.

“You’re letting the light in,” a voice, three-quarters asleep, face-down on the pillow, complains.

But he isn’t here, he is. The spell is broken. I close the curtains.

 

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27 Comments
  1. A lovely blend of wistful and resentment I feel.

  2. Wow great last line. The he and he… so pain filled

  3. Ah dear, lost love and regret. Still, she can dream…

  4. It makes me wonder what twist of fate brought her here instead of lying next to he of the snow angels.

    • Hi Rommy, thanks for reading. In only 100 words I can’t always explore the backstory, but if I can make the reader wonder and care then that’s the next best thing.

  5. Dear TRG,

    The longing in your story is tangible and you left me wondering who the second ‘he’ is. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • Thank you Rochelle. Is “he” the one who got away? Or one she has met since but can’t be with? I don’t know either but I’m glad her desires and frustrations came across

  6. Ach… she could always get rid of the second he if he doesn’t suit…

  7. Oh, wow… The regret and pure longing is so very thick in this lines. This is so cleverly written and structured, when we finish reading, we can’t help but share in the character’s pain.

  8. Now that’s tragic! Poor girl. Great take on the prompt.

  9. It starts out so lovely and a bit wistful and then Wham! The last line is a killer.

  10. Oh, dear, poor woman. Nothing like being bumped out of a glorious daydream by dull reality D:

  11. It sounds like that ship already sailed and the vessel she’s stuck with now is no dreamboat. 🙂

  12. It’s times like this we wonder why we ever let him go.

  13. Regret is a harsh companion, you painted it so well.

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