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Friday Fictioneers – Revenant

22 September, 2017

I was at a work meeting in London on Wednesday so Rochelle‘s email with this week’s prompt pic

from Sarah Potter came to me on my phone.

On the way back, I had time to kill so wrote my FriFic and – get this – for the first time ever I wrote it with an actual pen onto a piece of paper.  I have the world’s worst handwriting so rather than make you have to try to read this:

I’ve typed it out for you below. Feel free to read it, and also to visit the Froggy Island to see the Fics everyone else has shared.

 

The silence was broken only by echoing final notes from the stunned pianist. A figure, silhouetted against the evening sun, filled the saloon doorway.

With slow, spur-rattling steps, he approached the bar, downed two fingers of whisky and addressed the nervous customers.

“I left this town five years gone, with only the clothes on my back and the sixgun in my holster. I fought, shot and killed to survive. They call me Dusty Zapata, and I’m back.”

An elderly woman stood.

“Darren Cooper,” she said, “yer Mam’s been worried sick. Sit down and stop showing off. And clean them shoes!”

 

 

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35 Comments
  1. Very nice, and wow for writing it down. I haven’t written anything by hand for years!

  2. An old-fashioned game of ‘cowboys and indians’ – do kids still play that? It’s nice sometimes to go back to writing with a good pen on paper, but your handwriting is terrible 🙂

  3. Ya! Nice one. You can never hide from the ones who knew you as a child!

  4. Dear TRG,

    I guess he’d better stay away from his hometown if he wants to keep up appearances. Loved this one. (No argument about your handwriting. 😉 )

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  5. Gotta love that one! Giggles. Yet another reason why I don’t go home…

  6. Dude! I love it.

  7. Hey, this is laugh out loud funny! Brilliant.

    Click to read my FriFic!

  8. That was a lot of fun, Sir!

  9. Funny! There’s always someone with a hairpin standing by if you get too inflated.😣

  10. rachelmalik99 permalink

    Really liked this story. Not least because I was watching Gunfight at the OK Corrall last night!

  11. Ha… caught in the act.. maybe not such a menace as he wanted to be portrayed… wonder what mom will say if she hears that he have been drinking whiskey?

  12. Wonderful! Takes a woman to put a kid in his proper place 🙂

  13. *Claps excitedly* Ha! I love it when someone gets pulled down a peg. brilliant.

  14. Wonder whether I should commend the whacky humour of Darren, or wonder what these kids watch these days! 😉
    Neither the shoes nor the whiskey is going to make his mom happy 😂

    • Thanks for reading Ritika. There’s no humour from Darren, he does see himself as Dusty as do others. Those who have known him since he was a baby see him differently though 🙂
      I don’t think his Mum will be too proud!

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