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Friday Fictioneers – Car

24 January, 2019

No time for preamble this week.

Rochelle sent Ted‘s pic

and I wrote 100 words and shared them with The Frog. Enjoy!

 

Cars always had friendly faces back then; cheery headlight eyes and chrome grill smiles, all framed by wingmirror ears.

But the car we saw rusting, abandoned in the forest, with its monstrous bonnet mouth and lifeless, bulbless staring eyes, terrified me so much that I refused to ride home in our car. Mum had to take me home on the train. “I’m never getting in the car again,” I sobbed.

She held my hand tightly as we walked home from the station. But when we arrived it wasn’t our car on the drive. Our car didn’t have blue flashing lights.

 

 

 

35 Comments
  1. Very very good, sir!
    Expertly built, and whammer of a punchline.

  2. Cars can definitely have a personality that reflects their owners.

  3. They’re never going to believe the car done it

  4. gahlearner permalink

    That’s a killer of a last sentence. From kid’s world to tragedy in an instant.

  5. Oh dear, a grim tale, a premonition of bad things to come

  6. That gave me the shivers… so very well done, sir

  7. Jelli permalink

    Adding fear to fear… great take on the prompt. I’m like Dale, this story gave me shivers and left me with unanswered questions…

    • Thanks Jelli I’m glad you liked it. Maybe with more than 100 words I could have answered some of those questions…

      • Jelli permalink

        I know the feeling. Sometimes it is hard to fit a story under the count.

  8. I have read serval time, TRG, the ending again and again. And I am left wondering and questioning.

  9. Abhijit Ray permalink

    Trauma of a kid is understandable. What were blue flashing lights doing on the driveway?

    • They are from an emergency vehicle – police i think. The father hasn’t made it home in the car but the police are there which suggests there has been an accident

  10. I’m not sure of your intent but this worries me. The child seems traumatized and the blue lights suggest a crime has been committed, so either he saw something or something was done to him.
    Either way, it’s chilling.

    • HI Dawn. The car in the woods wasn’t connected to the blue lights other than being an omen of sorts.
      The father hasn’t made it home in the car, and the police are waiting for them at home. I’m not sure of the exact outcome but there has been some sort of accident for the father.

  11. Dear TRG,

    Flashing blue lights sound like the harbinger of bad news. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  12. Great foreshadowing in the boy’s fear of the car – set the scene for the tragic ending, but I was still surprised. Well told.

  13. I wonder what had happened… but flashing blue lights at home rarely bring good news

  14. Ah. I can guess what happened. Well done.

  15. From bad to worse! Excellent surprise ending. And you captured the very real fear of the child.

  16. Great ending.

  17. I thought your first sentence was excellent as a commentary to today. Good story, old friend.

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