Friday Fictioneers – Altitude
Time for a weekly dip into the world of 100-word fiction, courtesy of Rochelle. This week’s prompt pic fired off a few thoughts:
and now you can read the idea I ran with.
He had told me the risks of stopping at this altitude, but I stood and I looked. Across the invisible valley to the next distant peek. Across the delicate white clouds, changing and swirling imperceptibly slowly, but which could transform into lethal storms in minutes.
I knew now why he loved this peak, why he took those risks to experience such highs again and again. I turned to see him standing next to me, and I felt an intense satisfaction that I had accompanied him on his final ascent.
I opened the urn and tipped it.
He drifted slowly away.
Brilliant. It amazes me how you can convey so much in 100 words, I felt every single emotion as I got to the end, I was thinking about this same exact thing, wondering how I will be able to do the same thing for my Mom down at Cape May, knowing it’s something I need to do for her. I especially love this line ” I turned to see him standing next to me, and I felt an intense satisfaction that I had accompanied him on his final ascent.” Just beautiful, you moved me to tears in 100 words. Thank you for writing this, it’s perfect.
Wow thanks for your kind comments. Really, very generous.
As for cape may, i know you will manage to do it because its what she would want
I liked it. It made me imagine the scenes and create a little movie in my head. Beautiful, RG!
Thanks MI, i see it too and then write down what i see.
Really well-written and you conveyed the emotions so well. (“Peak”, rather then “peek”, BTW.) I like this a lot.
janet
Thank you Janet.
(peak amended, thanks for that too!)
Beautiful! I think this is one of my favorites this week. Nicely done!
Thank you so much 🙂
Touched me heart it did!
Thank you! That is a great compliment
Excellent!
Thanks Dawn
Nicely done.
Thanks Sandra
DearTRG,
One of the best I’ve read this week. Beautiful and poignant.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle, that’s very generous praise 🙂
I sat there just gazing at the clouds as I passed by them. I am used to watching clouds fly over me blocking me from the sun but today I am passing over them. They are beautifully reflective like snow is on a sunny day, yet softer than snow. They are the same clouds but different depending on perspective.
As I sat 35,000 feet above the earth I thought about you, where you were, what you might be doing. Somewhere, you were below me the closest I’d ever been to you….yet still so very far. My perspective limited.
Ive missed you and WordPress has missed your beautiful words.
I was the one waving madly as your plane went high over me, jumping to try to grab the tail and hitch a ride
Next trip is to your place. You are going to teach me how to play cricket 🙂
Definitely! You’d love it 🙂
Well of course I would (will) you will be there 🙂
I will, wearing my cricketing whites and looking quite dapper! Im sure you will inspire me to play better when youre watching
LOL I want to play too…is that allowed…girls?….or are you afraid I might show you all up?
You are MORE than welcome to play! If you show us up we might not let you go home, we need quality players 🙂
Hmmmm that would be an offer I wouldn’t be able to refuse. I am gonna start practicing now then 😉
get someone to throw a solid leather ball at your legs at 60mph while you try to hit it 50 yards 🙂